Friday, 3 April 2009

Thanks Republicans - That Was the Laugh I Needed

Somehow or other it looks like I have ended up on the RNC's e-mail list. And I'm glad of it, because if Michael Steele didn't occassionally write to me I would miss out on some GENIUS good fun. But the funniest thing I've seen all year is the new survey from the RNC.

They tell me that they are interested in learning more about where they have gone wrong in the past couple elections and how they can get back on track. So far, so sensible. Here's how the phrase the question:

1. Why did Republicans lose the White House and Congressional seats in the 2008 elections? Check all that apply.

Iraq War
Poor Economy
Government's Response to Katrina
Republican Scandals
Republicans acted like Democrats
President Bush's policies
Liberal Media

Oh, don't get too stressed about it, guys - I'm sure it was just the liberal media.

2. What are the key strengths and beliefs of the Republican Party that we can build on? Check all that apply.

Social Issues
Family Values
Free Markets
National Security
Fiscal Discipline
Limited Government
Personal Responsibility

Forget that this party isn't exactly noteworthy for it's ethical integrity of late, or that I think their claim to personal responsibility and fiscal discipline is... dubious to say the least. I think it's the Pro-Life thing I would go with - after all, nothing says "restored electoral majority" like a position that 63% of Americans oppose.

But it GETS EVEN BETTER! Then they go on to ask us about a whole bunch of issues and our views on them.

Here's the very first question they ask:

1. A recent national poll reported that nearly 25% of Americans want the government to pass more socialism. Do you agree or disagree?


Hmmm... gee, I don't know? How socialist do I want to be? Is Che Guevera Socialist enough, or should I be shooting higher?

Check out this double whammy:

5. Should Republicans unite to block new federal government bureaucracy and red tape that will crush future economic growth?


6. Should Republicans in Congress oppose the new wasteful government spending programs passed in the recent "stimulus" bill by the Pelosi-Reid Democrats designed to "spread the wealth"?


Gotta love the scare quotes.

8. Should we do everything we can to block Democrats who are trying to shut down conservative talk radio with the so-called "fairness doctrine"?


NO ONE is trying to do this. It's not on our agenda. I promise you, we evil liberals are not organising to... Oh never mind, what's the point?

9. Should we resist Barack Obama's proposal to spend billions of federal taxpayer dollars to pay "volunteers" who perform his chosen tasks?


I actually have no idea what this is referring to. Some sort of dig at ACORN? Just stumped on this one - anyone else have an idea?

The foreign policy section goes to a whole new level of "Huh?" - I won't copy the whole thing in cause I'd be here all day, but check out this one:

8. Even though Barack Obama pledged to meet personally with the likes of Raul Castro, Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, should Republicans continue to focus on supporting democratic movements in oppressive states like Cuba, Venezuela and Iran?


No. Personally, I think we should oppose Democratic reform because I hear Raul Castro serves good rum at HIS meetings.

Alert: Please note presence of Sarcasm in above comment.



christine said...

The Republicans seem to be crying socialism a lot these days. They really are grasping at straws.

I found the survey quite funny actually. Thanks. :)

Ancient Art said...

9. Should we resist Barack Obama's proposal to spend billions of federal taxpayer dollars to pay "volunteers" who perform his chosen tasks?

This refers to a section originally in HR 1388 and now in HR 1440. If passed without amendment, this contains a provision authorizing a study to determine, "Whether a workable, fair, and reasonable mandatory service requirement for all able young people could be developed, and how such a requirement could be implemented in a manner that would strengthen the social fabric of the Nation and overcome civic challenges by bringing together people from diverse economic, ethnic, and educational backgrounds."

Also in the bill is a whole lot of money to pay "volunteers" in approved organizations: and, yes, organizations like ACORN would benefit.

The Obama administration is proposing the elimination of tax deductions for traditional charitable organizations. Overall, what this means is that, instead of choosing what organizations to volunteer for and contribute to, voluntarism and charity will be directed toward government-approved organizations only.

Obama London said...

Hiya Ancient Art,

Thanks for clarifying - that's helpful. I've looked up the bill in question - HR 1440 is a Maritime act, so think you may be mistaken on that one, but 1388 is indeed an act for a reinvigorated service program. However, the language that you quote isn't anywhere in the act - I've searched for it in several different ways. Can you point me to which provision you meant?

I can't find evidence that this is anything other than an expansion of the optional public service programs that we've had in the past - mandatory national service would be something else entirely.